Syster Roxanna Boyer

For Sacrament Meeting August 25, 2013 Växjö Gren, Sweden

I was given Elder M. Russell Ballard’s October 2012 General Conference Talk, “Anxiously Engaged” for inspiration for my Sacrament Meeting Talk.  I read this talk and listened to it numerous times.  I found it to be the best talk, one of the most perfect talks I have ever known. When I tried to summarize it or take things away, I found myself frustrated and feeling like I was editing something that didn’t need to be edited.  But I  will tell you some sweet memories and some thoughts from my personal experiences that came to my mind upon reading this talk.

When I was about 11 years old, I met Karen who was to become my best friend. Karen was a Mormon.  I enjoyed arguing about religion and being very intellectual about God, the need for church, and where we can go for truth.   Karen just listened, answered question, present her view and loved me.   Eventually she invited me to go to a Young Woman´s activity to learn to do the “HULA”.  A Sister Missionary whose home was in Hawaii was the teacher.  What I found there amazed me.

I was enchanted by the open happy faces, good relationships between the leaders and youth, and genuine happiness I saw around me.  These people amid all the struggles and trials of life were joyously facing them and coming together in love and celebration.  Weekly, infact sometimes as many as three times a week, they spoke love and acceptance to each other during a time my home only reflected getting by, enduring one more day, living with depression and my father’s alcoholism.  The contrast between the world I had been brought up in and the world of church fellowship was so great that even though I didn’t think I couldn’t believe the way they did, I was impressed and attracted to their lifestyle and optimism.  Karen just listened, answered questions, presented her view and loved me.  

Now for a moment I want to tell you about Karen’s mother.  Sister Betty Mitchum was always in the background supporting Karen’s efforts to fellowship me.  She gave me rides to church and invited me into their own sacred and blessed sphere of home by having me come to Sunday Dinners.  Sunday Dinner at Karen’s house was always `´chicken and dumplings´´.   Karen and I would set the table, help with the salad and then watch her mother in the kitchen frying chicken and making the soft lumpy dumplings that would go over the chicken and mashed potatoes for our dinner.  You may think this is a little thing, to invite someone to dinner but they were inviting me into the peace of their home, the love of their family and I listened and watched for the secrets of their happiness.  

The secret was always the one they most wanted to share with me.  The secret to their happiness was the restored gospel and all that it entails to be an active participant in the gospel.  It was a little thing... but to me, it made all the difference in my life.

In Elder Ballard’s talk, he tells about the honey bees his father kept.  He explains:  Honeybees are driven to pollinate, gather nectar, and condense the nectar into honey. It is their magnificent obsession imprinted into their genetic makeup by our Creator. It is estimated that to produce just one pound (0.45 kg) of honey, the average hive of 20,000 to 60,000 bees must collectively visit millions of flowers and travel the equivalent of two times around the world. Over its short lifetime of just a few weeks to four months, a single honeybee’s contribution of honey to its hive is a mere one-twelfth of one teaspoon.

Have you noticed honey bees.  How busy they are.   President Ballard goes on to say:  All of this symbolism attests to one fact: great things are brought about and burdens are lightened through the efforts of many hands “anxiously engaged in a good cause” (D&C 58:27). Imagine what the millions of Latter-day Saints could accomplish in the world if we functioned like a beehive in our focused, concentrated commitment to the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.  

When Elder Ballard came to our missionary conference this past June, I was most impressed by his integrity.  He was very aware of how easily we are overwhelmed, prone to perfectionism and living the letter of the law instead of the spirit of the law.  It is human nature to look beyond the mark, think we must do something really grand for it to count.  One of my favorite scriptures that has helped me have patience with myself, children and husband is D&C 93: 11-14

11 And I, John, abear record that I beheld his bglory, as the glory of the Only Begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth, even the Spirit of truth, which came and dwelt in the flesh, and dwelt among us.

12 And I, John, saw that he received not of the afulness at the first, but received bgrace for grace;

13 And he received not of the fulness at first, but continued fromagrace to grace, until he received a fulness;

14 And thus he was called the aSon of God, because he received not of the fulness at the first.

Continuing on verse 19-20

19 I give unto you these sayings that you may understand and know how to worship, and aknow what you worship, that you may come unto the Father in my name, and in due time receive of his fulness.

20 For if you keep my acommandments you shall receive of hisbfulness, and be cglorified in me as I am in the Father; therefore, I say unto you, you shall receive dgrace for grace.

We are expected to grow into our likeness to God and the Savior grace for grace, principle upon principle and precept by precept.  It is an accummulation of refinement of small acts, deeds and attidtudes.

Elder Ballard gave us a simple thing to do to achieve and accelerate this process of growing to be like the Savior.  Our elder brother whose example we are asked to follow.  It involves a daily practice.  One that starts our day.  How do you start your day? The morning I wrote this talk, I spent at least half an hour thinking about getting up.  Since then, I have renewed once again my daily practice of what I call my quiet time.  It is my time with God and sorting through my thoughts, busyness and schedule. First thanking Him for all my blessings because this puts my troubles in perspective and then taking my worries and listing them one at a time.  After I sift through them determining  which ones I can do something about and what I have to let go of and let God take care of.  Then I look at the things I can do something about and plan my attitude, what my response to the problem should/could be, and I check with God to see if I am on the right track. 

Elder Ballard asks that we add to our daily quiet time.   He says: 

“There is one simple daily practice that can make a difference for every member of the Church, including you boys and girls, you young men and you young women, you single adults, and you fathers and mothers.

That simple practice is: In your morning prayer each new day, ask Heavenly Father to guide you to recognize an opportunity to serve one of His precious children. Then go throughout the day with your heart full of faith and love, looking for someone to help. Stay focused, just like the honeybees focus on the flowers from which to gather nectar and pollen. If you do this, your spiritual sensitivities will be enlarged and you will discover opportunities to serve that you never before realized were possible.

He also said: “Remember, honey contains all of the substances necessary to sustain mortal life. And the doctrine and gospel of Christ is the only way to obtain eternal life. Only when our testimony transcends what is in our mind and burrows deep into our heart will our motivation to love and to serve become like unto the Savior’s. It is then, and only then, that we become deeply converted disciples of Christ empowered by the Spirit to reach the hearts of our fellowmen.”

I don't know if Sister Betty Mitchum used this formular as part of her morning routine.  She had a husband, 5 children, a full time job, and responsibilities in the ward.  As I have raised my children, I have often thought about how tired she must of been on those Sunday afternoons when she invited me to her chicken and dumpling dinners.  But she didn't act tired.  I never felt a burden to her.  I don’t remember her struggling to be present in conversations but I do remember her taking a rest after dinner while Karen and I scurried around acting out scenes from musicals or singing songs of the sixties. 

Because of my interest in the church, eventually both my brother and I were converted and baptized.  My brother went on to serve a mission to Canada.  He married in the temple and raised 5 children, three who went on missions. Six of our high school friends also joined the church, my cousin joined the church and raised her two daughters in the gospel, all of my children are members of the church, three of which went on missions and grandchildren are being raised in the church.  The temple work for over 200 members of my family has been completed by the combined efforts of family members and I am on a mission in Sweden today with Äldste Boyer, partly because of chicken and dumplings. 

President Brigham Young (1801–77) stated, “Our lives are made up of little, simple circumstances that amount to a great deal when they are brought together, and sum up the whole life of the man or woman; and yet in our passing from one to another our little acts and incidents seem to be very minute or simple, but we find that they amount to a great deal.”2

If we continue with Elder Ballard's analogy and compare my beloved Sister Mitchum to a busy honey bee, part of her contribution to this world, to the church, to building up Zion, to eternity is like the 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey the honey bees contribute to a pound of honey.  Because the gospel has all the essential covenants and ordinances for us to obtain eternal life like the honey that has all the substances necessary to sustain mortal life, her contribution is eternal, without end, and magnified by this great plan of salvation into a worthy gift to be given to her Heavenly Father when she returned to God. 

Such a simple thing-Chicken and Dumplings but I am so thankful for her gift to me.

Finally, I want to bear my testimony to the truth of the doctrines of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I remember learning about these truths gradually over time and that the information came to me as a constantly increasing light from my understanding of life. Giving me direction, hope and vision and most of all... the answers to the questions: Where did we come from, why we are here, and where are we going?

Where would I be now without that compass to guide me through my life? The gospel helped me change my attitude and behavior to reflect the wisdom and advice of latter-day prophets, and brought my behavior to being align with the covenants and ordinances of the Gospel.  These truth bearing doctrines that remind us how follow a path leading to becoming more refined and closer to our Heavenly Father.  I know as I work to refine myself, my righteous choices will give me more peace, spiritual security and happiness. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Our First Four Days at the MTC and Happy Valentine's Day!

Dear Friends and Family,

Our first four days at the MTC and Happy Valentine’s Day!

Monday-checked in at 10:45, worked until 4:30, ate lunch, dinner at the MTC, went to the Marriot Hotel and fell asleep by 9 p.m.

Tuesday-Worked from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. trained in Preach My Gospel-prepared to meet the volunteer investigators.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner at the MTC.  Missionary Fireside until 8 p.m. Fell asleep at the Marriot by 9 p.m.

Wednesday-Worked from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. trained in Preach My Gospel-taught our first investigator, Mr. Field.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner at the MTC.  Fell asleep at the Marriot by 9 p.m.

Thursday- Worked from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. trained in Preach My Gospel – taught our second investigators Bob, Nell and Dave.  Listened to “the Trees” who were engaged 61 years ago on Valentine’s Day and went on four LDS Missions. Breakfast, lunch and dinner at the MTC.   Fell asleep at the Marriot by 10 p.m.

The food is plentiful and they are completely cooperative with my dietary needs. 

The most impressive thing about the MTC is the other missionaries.  The more you know about them, the more you appreciate them. 

One couple is going back for their second mission to the Martin Hand Cart Visitor’s Center.  They arrange for all the supplies, train the other helpers and stay there for 18 months plus go on a four day handcart practice trip.  Another is going to live on an Indian Reservation in a double wide trailer, yet another on an Indian Reservation in a 25 foot trailer 100 miles from any other city on the ridge of the Grand Canyon, other missionaries are going to the West Indies (going from Island to Island), Washington D.C. Visitors Center, Illinois, Texas, Korea (second time), Thailand and about 10 couples and two sisters going to Nauvoo.  Interesting thing about Nauvoo Missionaries:  they are going to act and dance in the evening and during the day work as teamsters or role play Nauvoo Pioneers at different sites in the city.  These are old people.

 The Spirit is so strong in the MTC.  It isn’t any one person or experience but the whole is almost overwhelming to your spiritual awareness.  I have felt absolutely like I was floating much of the day.  In class, there is a lot of interactive talking, role playing and soul searching.  The teachers are very aware of the old axiom, “the mind can absorb only what the bottom can endure”, so we have lots of water and lots of breaks because of all the waterJ  

We feel incredibly blessed and happy.  It’s like, we can’t believe we get to do this and we are so glad we are doing this together.  Our appreciation for each other’s gifts and talents has increased tenfold. 

The Church is the true Church of Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon is from our Father in Heaven.  This feels like such an understatement. 

Love,

Elder and Sister Boyer/Stan and Roxanna/Dad and Mom/Bapa and Nana

Letter to Myself Written in My 1964 Yearbook

Well, today its June 5, 1964 and I am out of the tenth grade (Big Deal) This is a wonderful year for me, I’ll never forget it.  Mary Daly, Sharon Mitchell, Susie House, Van Beverstock, Jim Buckner, The Sunland Hospital, Cheryl DeWald, Roger Henderson, Mr. Forman, Mr. Goddard, Mrs. Evans, Gym Mr. Folson, Barry Vaugh, Mrs. Rhoden, Mrs. Graf and Miss. Megle.  And Bobby Livingston.

 I wish I could write all I feel but it's hard to know what to say.  I know life is worth living if you only try to do your best.  I’m growing up and I know it.  I can feel myself.  I know some of my wims (whims)aren’t childish anymore.  I know were (where) I’m going in life and what I’m going to do. 

Tonight I’m in love with the world itself.  I have no greater yearning than to live life to my fullest.  I want to be a success and I want others to have success.  I don’t want to think about hate and violence.  Yes, I am going up.  If I die bury me where my heart is. 

True, at the moment I have a mad crush but it’s different.  He likes me.  Mary, we’re growing up.  Tomorrow you go to New York, last night he kissed me.  He graduated.  This year has been filled with so many things. I don’t know where to start.  First there was Sunland (Hospital) then Barry and Don. John Gary and Christmas and a hospital filled with balloons and children.  The Biology Club, the University of Florida and Miami and the Beatles and Daytona. 

I loved Daytona; I loved the waves, the hair dryers, the blisters, the sun, the rafts, the moon, the sun, the night, the boys, and the atmosphere, everything about it. I loved.  I met Bobby and he kept my hair dry and pinched me and called me barbed wire.

Growing up is being independent.  I’m getting to be very independent.

Graduation.  My Bobby graduated yesterday.  No tears, just smiles and well wishes and kisses.  He likes me and I like him.  That’s all that counts right now. I may never marry him.  I probably won’t go steady but for now he is my center and He will be for a long while.  (Bobby gave me my first kiss at his graduation.  It was only one kiss…just saying)

I never forget yesterday or that one boy who had no one.  You do need to be needed.  Everyone has to be needed.  That’s what life is. 

Summer is here and I going to have fun.  I’m growing up!  Everyone is.  We don’t depend on each other so much anymore.  Everyone is maturing now.  I’m 15 and I know I’ve got a lifetime ahead.  I think you realize it only at 15.  That’s when you grow up.  I can accept responsibilities now. 

This year is growing old now.  I can feel it slipping away and it will soon be gone only a memory.  I do love living.  I love people.  I love children.  I love God.

I want to meet many people I want to become a part of them.  I want to really mean something to someone.  I want to find my place in life.  I’ve got a lot of living to do and lots of people to meet and places to see and new loves to know.  And I don’t want to ever fail anyone. Most of all I want to be me.  I want to mean a lot to someone who means a lot to me. 

This year couldn’t be forgotten.  This night is extraordinary.  I can feel it.  Tonight my brother and I had a long talk and I just beginning to understand him.  Mary is leaving and I know we’re not crazy teenagers anymore.  We’re growing up.  We’re beginning to see how life was meant to be lived. 

God help find myself and what I really want in life. I want to have a wonderful life. This year has been long and I wanted it to end the minuet is started but now I want to relive it. All my thoughts have been poured out and I know now that I’ve written what I needed to say. I want to write more but there’s nothing left to say, except that I want to have a good life. I want to really have a wonderful life. I want to have lots of kids and a husband and a career and I want to be loved. Please never let me be left alone without anyone who cares. This feeling comes seldom and I know now that it is slipping away to be lost as a memory. I hope my life isn’t filled with just memories, but I want to live every moment of everyday as something new and exciting.  I want to live as a good kind person should.  Yes, I want to be religious but that will come when I am ready for it. I love this year and all that times I’ve cried this year I know now were wasted for I have a good life I have what really counts in life. I have a home, a family, luxuries of friends, and the Sunland children who have given me more than anyone in this world. God let me never leave them.

In closing, I want to say that I vow to try to make the very best of life. And that somewhere someway I will become the center of someone who needs me as much as I need him. Help me to help others and myself as well.  Dear God. 

Thanks,

Roxie

Stand in Holy Places-January 13, 2013 Sacrament Talk

We have been asked to speak on this year’s Young Men and Young Women’s Theme –Stand in Holy Places. When I was given the theme, I immediately remembered a letter I wrote to myself in my 1964 yearbook, when I was 2...no,I was 15 years old. I am going to read just some excerpts that apply to our theme today. By way of explanation, I had been very active in my High School’s Biology Club and attended a two day field trip with about 20 other High School students to Daytona Beach. I was living in the Southern states and it was during the Civil Rights protests and riots.

"Well, today it’s June 5, 1964 and I am out of the tenth grade. This is a wonderful year for me I’ll never forget it. I know life is worth living if you only try to do your best. I’m growing up and I know it. I can feel myself. I know some of my whims aren’t childish anymore. Tonight I’m in love with the world itself. I have no greater yearning than to live life to its fullest. I want to be a success and I want others to have success. I don’t want to think about hate and violence. I wish I could write all I feel but it's hard to know what to say.

I loved Daytona; I loved the waves, the hair dryers, the blisters, the sun, the rafts, the moon, the night, the boys, and the atmosphere, everything about it. I loved. Graduation. Bobby graduated yesterday. No tears, just smiles. He likes me and I like him. That’s all that counts right now. Summer is here and I going to have fun. I’m growing up! Everyone is. We don’t depend on each other so much anymore. Everyone is maturing now. I’m 15 and I know I’ve got a lifetime ahead. I think you realize it only at 15. I can accept responsibilities now.

I want to meet many people I want to become a part of them. I want to really mean something to someone. I want to find my place in life. I’ve got a lot of living to do and lots of people to meet and places to see. And I don’t want to ever fail anyone.

Most of all I want to be me. I want to mean a lot to someone who means a lot to me.

Tonight my brother and I had a long talk and I just beginning to understand him. Mary is leaving and I know we’re not crazy teenagers anymore. We’re beginning to see how life was meant to be lived.

God help find myself and what I really want in life. I want to really have a wonderful life. I want to have lots of kids and a husband and a career and I want to be loved. I want to live every moment of everyday as something new and exciting. I want to live as a good kind person should. Yes, I want to be religious but that will come when I am ready for it.

In closing, I want to say that I vow to try to make the very best of life. Help me to help others and myself as well. Dear God. Thanks, Roxanna"

I didn’t know it at the time but I was writing a prayer. Looking to God to help me find my way. I didn’t have the Gospel to guide me or examples of healthy adults living responsible lives. I felt really vulnerable and floundering looking at all the choices I could make back in the turbulent 1960’s. The world seemed like such a troubled place and I didn’t want to get lost in the turmoil.

About seven months later, through a series miracles, tender mercies and blessings, I had joined the church and was asked to give my first talk as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the form of reciting that year’s Young Men/Young Women's theme. Listen if you would to the words of the theme contrasting them against my earlier letter: “I, a Laurel, standing on the threshold of life, see before me rich blessing which are mine for the seeking. As I pursue my quest, I must choose wisely, that the treasures I seek will be of lasting worth. I will seek that which is beautiful in thought, in word, in deed, that my life may be as a shining light guiding others to goodness and virtue. I will seek wisdom and an understanding heart that I may walk humbly, live valiantly, and progress eternally. I will seek the rich blessings of love which are found in service to my fellow men and obedience to the commandments of the Father in Heaven. Thus will I seek to enrich my life with all things virtuous and lovely that I may find “joy unspeakable here and eternal happiness hereafter.”

What I had learned during those seven months of new member church activity is that there are many spheres or worlds to live in, in this world, depending on how we choose to live; that’s the world we inhabit. I am talking about our internal world. There are lots of different social-economic circumstances that people live in in this world but the inner world, the world of our thoughts, dreams, ambitions and spiritual relationship with our Heavenly Father, that is the world we choose. Joing the church didn't make me better than other people but it did make me better off and a much better me.

When I joined the church, I gained an understanding that God loves me and is approachable, a clear vision of how to grow and improve myself through repentance and daily striving, I gained access to multitude of people who wanted to help me too, and I gained a desire to give these gifts to other people.

  I think of the ladder in Jacob’s dream as representing our inner or spiritual self. Jacob saw in a dream a ladder that reached to heaven where the Lord stood above it with administering angels going up and down the ladder. Elder Marian G Romney explained that “Jacob realized that the covenants he made with the Lord were the rungs on the ladder that he himself would have to climb in order to obtain the promised blessings-blessings that entitle him to enter heaven and associate with the Lord.

When we are lifted to a higher rung on the ladder to Heaven, it is only a higher rung on our ladder, not a higher rung compared to someone else. From a gospel perspective, all of us have our own individual ladders but we climb our ladders of spiritual strength step by step, principle by principle or grace by grace. We are not on our ladders in a race or competition to out climb someone else. We are all on an upward or downward journey independent of any one else, learning and growing at our own speed with our Heavenly Father over seeing our progress. And we can lift or discourage others on their journeys.

Marian G Romney also taught that the steps on the ladder represent covenants we make with God that bring us closer to Him. He said, “Temples are to us all what Bethel was to Jacob. Temples are “mountains of the Lord” where we go to lift ourselves above the things of this world, draw nearer to God and heaven, and learn how to enter His presence eternally. Which is symbolized by our “stepping up” into heaven through means provided by God and administered by His angel servants. For there were angel servants in Jacob’s dream. Just as there are angel servants in all the tender mercies we witness so often in our lives.

Our lives are very much like River Runs. Church leaders have long counseled us stay in the main stream of the church activity to avoid the pitfalls of our culture and society. Even if we stay in the main stream, there may still be huge obstacles in our way, cross currents that threaten to tip the boat or snags and boulders to maneuver around. With or without asking God for His help in our lives, it’s still a difficult journey.

And there are the “back eddies.” A back eddy is a side current that can waylay a boat out of the main current into a holding pattern until through tremendous efforts, the boat members oar the boat out of the back eddy if they can. Sometimes on River Runs just as in life, we purposely guide the boat into a back eddy to rest from life, gather our strength, bail out the boat, catch our breath, knowing we will have to gain enough strength to row the boat out of the eddy and into the main stream to eventually get where we want to go.

There are some back eddies that boatmen avoid at all costs only to have the currents or life experiences toss them into a back eddy like the one on West Water called the “room of doom”. Boats caught in the “room of doom” have to be rescued sometimes by power boats and many volunteers not unlike many of our fellow men who are in serious danger and circumstances threatening their spiritual life.

Or we can separate ourselves from the main stream for a sandy beach, warm springs or beautiful camping area only to lose track of time and spiritual experiences whiling away our life in a current that goes nowhere.

One of the great stories of our time is Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables made popular by the recent movie version. Jean Val jean’s spiritual journey of learning to do God’s will is contrasted with Javert’s willful insistence on living his life based on his judgments of his fellowmen.It is a marvelous example of man’s triumph over his self-will and man’s tendency toward self-deception. Where Jean Valjean strove to think through how his actions might help someone else and how God, what God would have Him do; Javert judged people against himself and found them lacking. The simple answer to how we make progress on our spiritual ladder’s is found in D&C 93 using Christ’s Life as an example, He learned to do the Father’s Will growing grace or grace, precept by precept.

In the book “He Did Deliver Me from Bondage”, Colleen C. Harrison writing about changing our nature says: “On our own, the best we can accomplish is a sort of white knuckle, uptight feeling of resistance to our desire to sin. The fact is that internally nothing has been changed and we still want to do our sin just one more time. This state of constant struggle is not the best we can hope for. Life was not mean to be a long slow, torturous journey of constant tension, fear and guilt. A God-given remission of sins (in contrast to a self-imposed self-powered effort) brings periods of unspeakable peace and comfort best described as the “rest of the Lord”.

What usually keeps us from the “rest of the Lord” is our pride. We don’t ask God, believe in God or trust God because like Javert we think we know better or can do it on our own. But when we come to our senses, think about our spiritual experiences and what we know from those experiences, we can humble ourselves and do the will of the Father in our lives.

Mosiah 4:9 says- Believe in God; believe that he is and that he created all things both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.

I know the church is true. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

The Short Story of My Conversion

Sacrament Talk: January 16, 2011

Stan and I were asked to give talks about The First Article of Faith in Sacrament Meeting this week. The outline for this talk became a summary for how I joined the church. As I gave the talk, I restyled the talk to include some incidents that I had not remembered until I was on the stand. I have rewritten the talk to include those remarks as well as some remarks I did not actually say for clarity.

First Article of Faith: We believe in God the Eternal Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost.

I have always believed that while we have many stories to tell about our lives, the most important story we have is how we came to accept the truths of the gospel.

I was born to parents who weren't members of any religion. My father was brought up Protestant but by the time I was 10 claimed himself as an agnostic (meaning he did not believe or disbelieve that there was a God) and my mother, a non-practicing Methodist.

I did not attend church or Primary, have Family Home Evening, read the Book of Mormon, know who Joseph Smith was or have any knowledge of Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. However, even as a little girl I knew there was a God and thought of Him as my Father. I attribute this to my mother’s relatives who did pray over meals and went to Christian churches regularly. They were also very kind and loving to me. The source of their peace and kindness seemed to be their belief in God.

Someone taught me a night time prayer which goes like this:
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Every night before I went to bed, I would recite this prayer. Once settled, I remember gazing into the Heavens and wondering about God before I went to sleep. Around five years of age, my wonderings turned into personal prayers that allowed me to ask questions or pray fervently for some need.

For me, God was the creator of all the wonderful and beautiful things in my world and my protector at night. I felt a very personal relationship with Him and knew that He loved me and watched over me.

I remember asking my father about Jesus Christ. He told me that there were many great teachers in the world and Jesus was one of them. He would be pleased if I used the teachings of Christ as a guide in my life but that he did not believe that Christ was a God or that there was a God for sure. However he said that I could believe in anything I wanted to as long as it came from my heart.

I was always amazed that my Dad did not know there was a God. As a young girl I thought that his lack of faith was the source of his depression and addictions. But I listened to my father about Jesus Christ as I had no other reference point.

As my brother and I asked other questions about religion, my parents noticed that we were looking for answers from our peers. About the time I was thinking about being a nunn, they decided to take us to a number of churches always careful to not impose any religion on us but merely to introduce us to other ideas. As time went on we were informally introduced to various world religions and philosophies.

When I was ten, I befriended Sally, a girl in my sixth grade class. I highly respected Sally because she was the youngest of nine children whose mother had died and was in charge of running her family's household. With eight older brothers on a large farm, Sally was in charge of breakfast, dishes, laundry and house cleaning chores. When she invited me to attend her church one Sunday, I was curious to see how her religion helped her manage her life.

Her church was a small wooden, clapboard building at the end of a dirt road surrounded by trees. Inside was one long room with pews down the both sides leading to a pulpit area with a portrait of Jesus in the highest arch of the room. Everyone was dressed in Sunday best, very friendly and appealing. But I was astounded by their church services. There was no mention of God. Every song, story, prayer and sermon was the retelling of Christ, His life and teachings. I was horrified that they had put Jesus in God’s place of worship, worshipping the teacher instead of the Father. I went home angry and determined to never have anything to do with Jesus or Christianity again.

That night as I knelt down to say my prayers, I told God about my experience and promised Him that I would never worship Jesus Christ. I laid out my anger and reasoning to Him expecting peace to settle down upon me. Instead, I immediately felt God’s displeasure with my decision. It was the feeling of being rebuked, even chastised and I started crying in response. Then I became very frustrated by my situation. I knew that my parents would not support my claim that God told me Jesus was something more than just a teacher but at ten, I didn't have the resources to go looking for answers in other churches. With resignation and some irritation, I told God that if He wanted me to understand who Jesus was, He would have to provide the way for that knowledge to come to me.

A year later, we had moved to Florida and I was introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by a Karen Mitchem, a classmate in the 7th grade. I was so impressed by how happy her family was and how they responded to me. Eventually Karen asked me to attend Young Women's where I learned the hula. I also went through about four sets of missionaries but never got past the first discussion because they always talked about a baptism date and I could never understand what baptism had to do with anything relating to God. Finally in ninth grade Karen started attending early morning Seminary every day before she went to our high school. That was just too much for me. I felt she was becoming fanatical. I drifted to other friends not knowing that my Mormon friends fasted for me every fast day for two years.

When I was fifteen, I started working at a facility for the mentally retarded in the nursery helping to care for approximately 30 children under four years of age. One of the other workers would sing hymns and spirituals as she worked feeding, bathing and dressing the babies. One day she started lamenting to herself about how these children would all be damned to eternal damnation because they had never been baptized. I was aghast that anyone could possible believe these innocent sweet children would be anything but loved and healed in the next life.

Shortly after this incident, Karen invited me to attend a fireside. The speaker was going to address the topic of "Do Little Children Need to be Baptized?". I went purposefully to debate the topic. I wanted to express my disapproval in the belief that children who died without baptism were damned.

The fireside was held in the newly built chapel in Orlando. A girl also about 15 years of age lead the discussion and I was impressed with her articulate message and clarity. She explained that little children could not sin until about eight years of age and God didn't require baptism of innocent babies.

Over cookies and mingling, I met a nice red haired boy who asked me out. After two weeks dating, he gave me a Book of Mormon to read, asking me to read 50 pages a night. I didn't know this was hard and quickly knew that the book was a true record God's relationship to men. It was like coming out of a dark tunnel into the light and I felt more clear and secure than I had ever felt in my life.

My brother and I asked to be allowed to go to early morning seminary at the start of the school year. There were nine of us that traveled about a half an hour in an old 1940s automobile leaving at 5:00 a.m. We would seat four in the front and four in the back with one of the smaller boys laying across the four in the back. The class was taught by Vera Smith. We studied the New Testament and the mission of the Savior. It was in Seminary that I finally found the knowledge of who Jesus is, His relationship to God and the Holy Ghost.

The concepts of God as the Eternal Father, His Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost are some of the precious truths that were lost because of a series of historical events. With the deaths of the Apostles and Prophets, converts with many different backgrounds tried to interject their old beliefs into their new Christian faith, especially the ideas and philosophies of the Greek converts. This caused many disputs and factions within the church and eventually transformed Christianity.

“From Wikipedia:The First Council of Nicaea (ni-SEE-ah) was a council of Christian bishops convened in Nicaea (an old city in what is now Turkey)* by the Roman Emperor Constantine I in A.D. 325. This council did not create the doctrine of the deity of Christ (as others including my father have claimed) but it did settle to some degree the debate within the early Christian communities regarding the divinity of Christ. (This idea of the divinity of Christ seemed by many to be confusing because they thought there should be only one God.) The council affirmed and defined what it believed to be the teachings of the Apostles regarding who Christ is: that Christ is the one true God in deity with the Father.” (And the Holy Ghost.) (My comments in italics)

Dallin Oaks
“We must begin with the truth about God and our relationship to him. Everything else follows from that.

In common with the rest of Christianity, we believe in a Godhead of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. However, we testify that these three members of the Godhead are three separate and distinct beings. We also testify that God the Father is not just a spirit but is a glorified person with a tangible body, as is his resurrected Son, Jesus Christ.

We maintain that the concepts identified by such nonscriptural terms as “the incomprehensible mystery of God” and “the mystery of the Holy Trinity” are attributable to the ideas of Greek philosophy. These philosophical concepts transformed Christianity in the first few centuries For example, philosophers then maintained that physical matter was evil and that God was a spirit without feelings or passions. Persons of this persuasion, including learned men who became influential converts to Christianity, had a hard time accepting the simple teachings of early Christianity: an Only Begotten Son who said he was in the express image of his Father in Heaven and who taught his followers to be one as he and his Father were one, and a Messiah who died on a cross and later appeared to his followers as a resurrected being with flesh and bones.

The Nicene Creed erased the idea of the separate being of Father and Son by defining God the Son as being of “one substance with the Father.”

While trying to unify the Christian believers, we believe that essential truths were lost. Ones that bless the lives of Heavenly Father’s children by defining Who God is, His relationship to Christ and the Holy Ghost.”

This quote is part of a marvelous talk from Dallin Oaks in April 1995 Conference. called Apostasy and Restoration.

The conclusions I draw from it are that there had to be a restoration of basic truths and these were brought to Joseph Smith, 14 year old boy is was seeking to find out the nature of God." April Cconference 1998

Forty Years Ago, Stan and I Met

Forty years ago this month, Stan and I met. I was twenty-three, getting ready to graduate from BYU and Stan was twenty-five . I had won a bet with another young man who in payment, had to wash my hair. As he was in process, in walked my roommate’s cousins, Stan and Sam, looking for dates for the next month financed by Sam’s military Per Diem. After some scrutinizing, Stan called his cousins and said he wanted to ask me out. Our first date was on March 17, St. Patrick’s Day. He had a terrible cold, snotty nose and everything but I just really liked him. We went to the John Wayne movie, “Cowboys”, a wedding reception and to his parent’s home for homemade pie. I was normally very careful about affection with young men, but I would have let him kiss me good night, cold and all after that first date, something I had never done before. By the second date we were completely enthralled and started seeing each other every night financed by Sam’s military money. We owe a lot to Sam. By the third date, we started having prayers together after the kissing. In May, we were talking about our future and everything seemed to just fall into place. We became engaged June 4, 1972 and were married August 18, 1972 in the Salt Lake Temple. There were some worries and hesitations but every time I prayed about it, I felt like my answer was “well, duh, yes, marry this guy. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to you.” Forty years later, I still feel that way about him most of the time. We have learned so much from having to compromise, communicate and celebrate. He is giving me some really good smile wrinkles, something we talked about while we were dating. And I look forward to the future knowing he will be by my side for as long as the Lord allows us this sweet pleasure.

Grandmother Dot and Grandpa Glenn Mornings

My grandmother and grandfather Skinner lived in a small town about fifty miles outside Richmond, Virginia. While I only visited them for probably 30 days during my entire childhood, they had a profound effect on my life. It was a second marriage for my grandmother (my mother’s side) who was widowed at age 31. They were married when my grandmother was 35 and lived in a large two story home, renting to a few boarders, while my grandfather Glenn taught “Shop” at the local high school. Every morning after a restless night, listening for the trains on the East side of the property, I would awake to the smell of bacon coming from the Grandma Dot's kitchen. Running downstairs, grandmother was in the kitchen, powdered, groomed, wearing a simple dress and nylons, finishing the final touches on breakfast and standing next to a table set with dishes, mats and glasses embossed with "The Great State of Virginia." Those glasses seem to announce what I felt about being in the home. It was great. We said grace before every meal. Sometime into the breakfast, Anna ( one of the boarders) would knock on the door bringing with her a voice that had a high hollow bell tone in a deep southern dialect difficult to understand. Her voice sang and fluctuated with a cadence and lyrical value beautiful and alluring. She welcomed the day; she welcomed me back into her life. We continued our bacon, eggs, toast and butter breakfast to conversations of what was happening that day and the gentle rhythm of human interaction bound to a place that calls to us, bringing back memories both pleasant and sad. It was like Christmas but the presents were the presence of those around the table. These adults surrounding us were infatuated with our childish aura. They filled our cup with attention and adoration. We were a novelty and something about the way we grew was very important to them. My grandmother loved us with her rhythms and routines of daily living. She was happy to love us and for our company. I loved her so much.